Ian Mayes

How to Obtain a Closed Mind

Retrieved on January 1, 2005 from www.cat.org.au

In these times of rapid technological advances in the areas of information and communication technologies and with the current world population explosions and with the rapid growth of major cities, it is now more important than ever before that a state of close mindedness is maintained. I know that there are some of you, who have all throughout life, looked at things at a unique and different perspective. Who have always sought out new and different ideas, and were thrilled at the thought of gaining greater understanding. I know, that as a result, you are often shunned and looked down upon, that you never quite “fit in”. Hopefully, I can help you remedy this problem, and guide you to the righteous path of closed mindedness.

There are many different ways and means of beginning the process of obtaining a closed mind, but to choose the most commonly used and easiest method, let’s start with the notion that: “you are good”. First off, only you know yourself. Only you know how unique and special you really are. As far as you can see, you are the only one who knows you and are you. The world at large doesn’t even come close. The world is different than you. The world doesn’t have the potential to do as much as you. Only you can do what you really want, the world hurts people, the world is uncaring and unchangeable. Therefore, “you are good”. The world is bad.

Now, since “you are good”, it would be totally logical to conclude that “you are right”. You must begin to no longer view your ideas a constantly growing and instantly changeable series of progressive steps, but instead personalise these ideas as “your ideas”. These ideas must become synonymous with yourself, these ideas must be you. As a result, whenever these ideas are challenged or attacked, the person doing so, is in fact challenging and attacking you. As a result, you must defend these ideas, as you would defend yourself. The content of the ideas, as a result, will become meaningless compared to the fact that these ideas are you; that you are the ideas. And that since you are undoubtedly a good and decent human being, “you are right”. And since others will attack you like that, maliciously seek to destroy what is good and decent in the world, “others are your enemy”.

To expound upon the progress that has already been made, you next need to begin the process of focusing on your own immediate situation. Since you are undoubtedly a decent and good human being to begin with, and since any attack on your ideas is an attack on you, likewise, any attack on your immediate situation is hostile towards you as well. We’ve already understood that “others are your enemy”, as a result, you must learn that their own situation is meaningless as well. You must learn that your own situation is you, and others’ situations does not concern you, it is “enemy territory”. As a result, you must learn to look for how everything relates to only yourself and improve your life in that area, and others’ situations, you must learn to ignore and turn a blind eye towards. And keep in mind, you must focus on your situation — in the present. History is the stories of other people’s situations in the past, and the future is what others’ situations will be in the future. You are living in the present, therefore, you must only pay attention to the present.

After such previous magnificent accomplishments are achieved, you must now take the time to relax. Literally, what you need to do now and for the rest of your life is relax. You need to get comfortable. You need to fight only for the maintenance of this comfort, and to maximise your comfort. You need to develop routines, schedules, habits and privileges and learn to love them. Keep in mind that all change is bad, unless it goes to further your own comfort. After all, aren’t we supposed to “live life to it’s fullest” and “seize the day”?

Hopefully, by following these general guidelines, you have been able to block out the world and originality, and only keep to yourself. Hopefully, you have now been able to live in world, but only be an island to yourself. Hopefully, you are now a closed system dependent on the outside world, but refusing to recognise it’s existence. Hopefully, you now have a closed mind.